Our Friend Sally

We sat in a basement in our home state, catching up with a friend (not Sally). We were trying to watch the goddamned movie The Box at 11PM, even though the licence to it was set to run out at midnight. As promised, it cutoff at midnight, so I've only seen half of The Box: I was thrown out trying to get to third base.

Bored, I despairingly checked my phone; Oh Wow!, a text!.

hey it's M and S! are you out? we want you to meet our friend Sally.

I responded in the negative; after all, we weren't even in the same state.

We went back to hating on The Box. Then, about 30 minutes later, I clutched at MostlyGhosty's arm. Visions of Molly and Sally -plums danced through my head. I suddenly was inclined to believe that these fine ladies were trying to get us to do drugs with them. Weird drugs. Silly, Sally drugs.

Urban Dictionary taught me how to think of Molly by doling out this vision: Me and my girl chopped a 1/2 gram of molly into 4 lines last night and we each inhaled one. rolled balls for 5 hours straight. pure love and cuddles all the way.

I had Mostly query the web, quickly reaffirming my hunch; Sally-D was out there, watching, waiting, and probably facilitating listening to some cyclical, spirally music. Here is a quote from a light-hearted, heart-eating blog concerning music listening while "using" Sally-D:

The music was talking to me in layers, so I'd better just knock [Sally] off.

The only time I'd ever heard of Salvia before was in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I'm not a serious gambler, and I don't look up to Hunter S. Thompson as a role model, so I initiated action avoidance maneuvers. Interestingly enough, IT IS LEGAL! 

However, the verdict remains: Not Interested. Salvia use is for Mexicans and Mexican'ts, and possibly James Franco.

Turns out Sally is a girl. Got to get my gut out of the udder and learn to milk these situations, cream more crops, etc.

General Nutmeggary

Just procured a QP of Jawzt at-Tiyb (nutmeg for our non-Arabic speakers). Street price: $2 per ounce. So apparently nutmeg is the crack to marijuana's cocaine, albeit with a culinary twist. The analogy isn't perfect but thats about how I'm expecting this all to shake out.

The choice remains: for an ideal journey into the nutmeg cosmos does one ingest the spice, take it orally, smoke or even shoot it? Is it shootable? Maybe not... but my roommate did give me all his old needles before he went to prison for killing a hooker for drug money, so its an option. How about all of the above? This should be interesting, I'm already feeling peculiar as the only thing I've eaten within the past 24 hours is a teaspoon of cinnamon (all at once, try it).

I'm officially nutmgegging, no high yet, but the house smells of pumpkin pie. I'm getting excited, I'm getting scared, I'm getting cotton mouth... I'm getting a helmet. More as the saga progresses...

Celebrity Nutmeggers:

Senator Joseph McCarthy, Wisconsin (R) - Nutmeg-induced paranoia gave way to the Red Scare of the early 1900's and was a crucial element in developing its own -ism, McCarthyism. Shits legit

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John Cusack, Actor - A bonafide addict, Cusack's vice originated from his time on the set of Being John Malkovich. Nutmeg is the primary reason Cusack fully anticipates the end of the world in 2012.

John Malkovich, Actor - but only when Cusack is Malkovich.

Malcolm X - For real this time, took it in prison when the green grass wouldn't grow back before he became brother Malcolm. The prison guards eventually got wise and banned the substance. Banned in prison, but still, is it legal?

IS IT LEGAL?

What is the fucking difference between white and gray and legal? Sirs and Ma'ams, there really isn't time for us to check out library books, let alone check out library books and read them and learn all the fancy laws conceived, ill and otherwise, by some ancient chickenshit with a wig and a bottle of 100-proof ink.

Generally Bad Ideas was born from a thirst for knowledge and water. But mostly water. After "winning" the teaspoon-o-cinnamon challenge (there really is no winner, in our opinion), our sights turned to the next spicy target; that spiced target is Nutmeg. The first grab at the answer bag yielded some high-class bullshit packaged as a tell-all story. Long tell-all short: a lot of Nutmeg, ingested orally, can make for "unpleasant," dream-like hours of fun. We were told doing Nutmeg would be a Generally Bad Idea. Who knows someone that cares? The real question is... what will our shit look like?