Our Friend Sally

We sat in a basement in our home state, catching up with a friend (not Sally). We were trying to watch the goddamned movie The Box at 11PM, even though the licence to it was set to run out at midnight. As promised, it cutoff at midnight, so I've only seen half of The Box: I was thrown out trying to get to third base.

Bored, I despairingly checked my phone; Oh Wow!, a text!.

hey it's M and S! are you out? we want you to meet our friend Sally.

I responded in the negative; after all, we weren't even in the same state.

We went back to hating on The Box. Then, about 30 minutes later, I clutched at MostlyGhosty's arm. Visions of Molly and Sally -plums danced through my head. I suddenly was inclined to believe that these fine ladies were trying to get us to do drugs with them. Weird drugs. Silly, Sally drugs.

Urban Dictionary taught me how to think of Molly by doling out this vision: Me and my girl chopped a 1/2 gram of molly into 4 lines last night and we each inhaled one. rolled balls for 5 hours straight. pure love and cuddles all the way.

I had Mostly query the web, quickly reaffirming my hunch; Sally-D was out there, watching, waiting, and probably facilitating listening to some cyclical, spirally music. Here is a quote from a light-hearted, heart-eating blog concerning music listening while "using" Sally-D:

The music was talking to me in layers, so I'd better just knock [Sally] off.

The only time I'd ever heard of Salvia before was in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I'm not a serious gambler, and I don't look up to Hunter S. Thompson as a role model, so I initiated action avoidance maneuvers. Interestingly enough, IT IS LEGAL! 

However, the verdict remains: Not Interested. Salvia use is for Mexicans and Mexican'ts, and possibly James Franco.

Turns out Sally is a girl. Got to get my gut out of the udder and learn to milk these situations, cream more crops, etc.